R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
