After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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