She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
