woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
