So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
