Only a mothe r could love this liver
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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