she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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