Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm getting married
To pizza
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
