Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
