he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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