We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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