I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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