So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
