Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
