I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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