it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
