Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
