addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
