I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
