i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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