Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
