And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
