whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Randomize