She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
