we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
