hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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