I'll bet she douches with gravy.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
