I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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