I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
