i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
