Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think your dad took our porno
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
