A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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