OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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