he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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