so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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