Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
