sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Randomize
