Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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