Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize