waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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