my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
This toilet bowl is my home.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
