How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
