laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
