Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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