Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
