I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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