nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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