i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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