She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize