She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize