how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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