I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
