The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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