idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
