# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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