well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
