Swine flu. Run for my life!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
