It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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