So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
