We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
