you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
