They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
