I am full of burrito and curiosity
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
