spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
