it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
whose ass print is on the piano?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
