I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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