I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
