Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
