he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
it's great music for shaving your balls
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
