oh god the rape fog is back!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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