We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
